Dwayne Wade is losing the “TRUE CHAMPIONSHIP”

As many of you know we are about family and honoring the vows made before God.  As much as I love my children, I believe the BEST God has for my family is to remain as one unit.  It hurts my heart to see how the WIFE of Dwayne Wade, of the Miami Heat is talked about because she is hurting due to having to watch her husband and children parade around during the NBA Championship with THE OTHER WOMAN.

I NEED YOU ALL TO UNDERSTAND THIS!!! Gabrielle Union is THE OTHER WOMAN.  Dwayne Wade has a WIFE! He took a vow to Siohvaughn Funches-Wade and the world is giving her a bad rap.  She was arrested the weekend of Father’s Day after refusing to allow the couples sons to be picked up by Wade’s sister.

Dwayne Wade made the following statement:

“Once again, S.L. has used our minor children as the proverbial pawns in this contentious dissolution of marriage action. This court must take action to protect our minor children from further exposure to the present environment S.L. creates while they are in her care and preventing S.L. from exercising her parenting time in a manner that is harmful to our children.

The minor children have been subjected to great deal of drama/trauma as a result of S.L.’s conduct.”

It is amazing how we continue to label fathers as CHAMPIONS for having the movie star girlfriend, even when it involves leaving his wife who has been by his side for years,  or driving a shiny Bentley, which doesn’t make you a REAL MAN.  When will we realize that the TRUE CHAMPIONS are the men who honor the quotes we made to God over the Cook County court system?

Remember this Dwayne:

“I love you, Siovaughn  and I know that God has ordained this love. Because of this I desire to be your husband. Together we will be vessels for His service in accordance with His plan, so that in all areas of our life Christ will have the pre-eminence. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to be faithful to you. I promise to love, guide, and protect you as Christ does His Church, and as long as we both are alive. According to Ephesians 5 and with His enabling power, I promise to endeavor to show to you the same kind of love as Christ showed the Church when He died for her, and to love you as a part of myself because in His sight we shall be one.”

The couple has a court date set for June 26, 2012 and I will be praying for the restoration of the family.  I believe the AA community needs to see this happen in a major way and THAT will be the World Championship for my community.

I just wonder if Essence Magazine would cover this as an example of REAL BLACK LOVE.  One that involves MARRIAGE!

ODC

In Marriage is Cheating a DEAL BREAKER?

You better believe this one is going to get HOT!

I presented this question on my Facebook page over the weekend and it did not turn out like I had expected. Send me a friend request at Michael J. Covin(don’t forget the period) to see the responses.

Let me begin…

I love to present issues I believe need addressing.  I am not attempting to get permission for anyone to CHEAT!! (make sure you read that last sentence again…out loud if needed)

There are several of us dealing with challenges in our marriages and attempting to navigate to a successful outcome.  Many married couples are dealing with overcoming infidelity in their marriage and are finding it very challenging.

First let’s define CHEATING as it pertains to this posting.

CHEATING in this post is going to be defined as sexual intercourse with someone other than your spouse.  (I do realize that there are other actions that can be defined as cheating but for this post we will use this definition) (UGH! OK for those of you who are asking. In my marriage, if your spouse doesn’t know about your actions…that is defined as cheating)(now back to our post)

It is amazing to me how many of us give a response to this question that sounds like when we were just in the dating world.

Examples taken directly from Facebook responses:

1. Yes. (Period)

2. Depends on if MAGNANIMITY exist in the relationship along with strong community support

3. Yes. Always

4. as 4 me, it is definitely a deal breaker

5. YES, IT CHANGES THE WHOLE RELATIONSHIP,IT DEMEANS,DE GRADE AND DESTROYS…..LISTEN TO ELTON JOHN…SACRIFICE

6. we don’t marry until death do we part….it is until real life happens we part…

Of course there were several other responses but it seemed like the women were a sure…I AM HITTING THE ROAD! (So fellas…You have been warned)

These responses were disturbing to me because I like to know the answer to the question:  How did we get here?

And I feel if you don’t ask and find the answer to that question you could very well find yourself in the next marriage and at the same point for the exact same reason.  I am not saying cheating is okay but when people continue to have conversations in their heads and not speak to their spouse about what they are thinking…

Confusion and thus cheating happens.

I really need your help on this one, because we are all human and I am not feeling the human side to some of these responses.  I know I present it like I have all the answers but I am stumped on this one.

HELP…

ODC

“March Madness Blogging Series”

Is the husband required to help with housework?

Yep, I am going to do it.  I am going to tackle one of the issues that no one wants to address.

Well, it gets addressed but not from the male perspective.

At least not publicly.  We talk about it but only when we are watching the game with the boys…And you don’t want to hear that convo.

Now this is not going to be as deep as it could be because I have to get home to help my wife with some housework…Just kidding.

So here goes.  I want to give this disclaimer.  If you are not a Christian or if you are a Christian and not following the bible….most of what is presented on this blog will not make sense to you.

There are many marriages taking hits in this so-called economically challenging time.  I am so saddened to hear of all the couples opting for divorce instead of choosing to serve each other but the serving part is where I think most of us fall off.

So if a wife works full-time outside of the home(building a kingdom for another family) is the husband obligated to help with the housework, cooking and cleaning?

I say absolutely NOT! He is not obligated.  It is his choice.

Now sit down and let me finish…

I say this because I believe the wife should not be working full-time outside of the home(building a kingdom for another family) and this is contributing to the breakdown of marriages.  {notice I said…contributing…it is not the ONLY factor}

I believe the wives in these situations need help because they are working so hard outside the home..(building a kingdom for another family)

I know. I know. I know.  I work with a group of women everyday and I hear how you want your own stuff.  Your own money and all that.

So my response is this.  You bite it off you chew it.

In contrast, if us men(who for the most part have not been taught to be providers) would handle our families finances you would not have to leave the home to help us provide income.

Now I need you to understand that even if we make all the money the family needs we can still sometimes be hard to get along with and cause you to want to work outside the home.(building a kingdom for another family)

This is a HUGE FAIL for us men.  We need to understand that our job is to make it and the families needs come before our needs.

If the number one need of a woman is SECURITY and you are not secure…

THAT IS OUR FAULT!!!

But if all your needs are met and you want to leave home everyday to work outside the home(building the kingdom of another family)

Please know that assistance with your role is totally an option and don’t try to withhold _ _ _ either or I will call MY FATHER!!

Hey,

Don’t shoot the messenger.

ODC

“March Madness Blogging Series”