When you have a crumb on your face or a string on your shirt would you prefer your spouse to wipe it or pull it off or tell you it is there? ODC doesn’t like either! She reacts like I am the enemy when I am just trying to help her not look crazy.
Of course, OTC starts in the middle of the story. During a recent roadtrip, we had the opportunity to do something we don’t get to do much; talk for more than 15 minutes without being interrupted by one of our
pesky adorabable children. During our conversation, he tells me that I have something on my mouth. Yes I was irritated, because as usual, when I checked, it was something that only someone with a microscope could see. We went on to discuss that I feel like his “help” is usually received as criticism by me. I owned the fact that I was probably the one with the issue, but it opened up the dialogue for us to define what “help” means to each one of us. We have an ongoing issue that occurs when I cook. OTC has a habit of coming in the kitchen, turning down my flame, or better yet stirring my pots!! THIS IS NOT HELP!!!! This says to me “You don’t know what you’re doing”. My attitude is fueled by this common question that is yelled down the stairs while I am cooking “What’s burning?!?!?!”. OTC….tell me, when I have every burned any food?
So I started in the middle of the story AGAIN HUH! Funny how when I always ask ODB to start the story she never wants to but then wants to jump in because I don’t do it correctly(deep breath)…I am sure there are plenty of husbands that deal with that, but back to the story at hand. The crumbs that my
perfect beautiful wife had on her face were there. She says that you needed a microscope to see the crumbs but she saw them and did not have one. I sometimes feel like waiting until we are finally on the RED CARPET and allowing her to get out the car with three of those crumbs and a dot of mayo from the sandwich she just took a too BIG bite from…you know ODB…the sandwich you brought with you because you were running late and did not plan to EAT…I guess. Yep, I feel like when this happens I am going to want to allow her to just walk around and take pictures so she can get on the People Top 10 list the next day…and this my friends, would not be the best wiped face list. The funny thing about her bringing up the cooking is I just visited a couple only for them to tell me how much they learned from visiting our yearly brunch and seeing how pleasant I was in my cooking support of my wife. They have similar issues to ODB, but both the husband and wife agreed I was a great helper. ODB does not think my turning her flames down when the house is filled with smoke is helping. She also doesn’t realize that when something is burning smoke rises so when I on the top level of the house I get worried. Oh by the way there is a prerequisite for burning food…but I won’t go there until the next post. Let’s just say I did not marry my wife for her cooking.
Thankfully I have history (almost 27 years) with OTC and I know that his paranoia with smoke has to do with the fact that he almost burned his house down cooking french fries when he was a teenager. The fire trucks even had to come to the house! I try to
tolerate be sensitive to this, but sometimes I forget and I hurry up and turn on the exhaust fan on the stove :-). I”ll graciously ignore that prerequisite comment. I will not however, let the sandwich comment slide. I know that I have known OTC for more than half of my life, but NEWSFLASH… I did learn a few things before I met him. During this same roadtrip, I was told that I put too much food in my mouth when I eat. Was this helpful? Nope, obviously a criticism. I am 41 years old, and I think it’s a little too late for me to correct certain things. I will try to be mindful the next time I eat a sandwich, humph! *crosses arms*.
Ohhh, so you want to pull out the BIG GUNS!! You were wrong for that and I should just hit delete on the entire post but I will be the good guy because I believe there are more people out there who view what I am doing as being helpful.
WELL AMERICA ‘in my Bernie Mac voice’ We created this blog to allow for some interaction. The offdachainandouttadabox couple would like to hear from you. When is help really help and when does it cross the line of criticism and how do you tell the difference?