Confession Series: “If I have 4 girls…do I keep going?”


This is a question that people must ask themselves every time they see me.  Why do I say this?  Because they react to me like I am going to put my 4 girls in the car with them for the ride home.  I wish people could hear themselves.  “WOW” You have 4 girls! “I know you are done!” 

Then I run into a friend of mine who only has a son and would love to have a daughter.  When my wife needs me to hold my youngest, who is now 13 months, I see his arm twitch so I just hand her over to him.  He doesn’t realize it but he immediately walks away from us.  He goes and finds a window to look out of and I am not sure what is going through his mind at that point.  Maybe something like how wonderful it must be to have a daughter.  He does not hide his feelings for little girls.  He squeezes my youngest daughter and she will just sit with him all day and look at him.  I am soo glad she is not the screamer so he can get his quality time.  

The funny thing is when I go to his sons baseball games and watch him coach it really makes we want to have a son.  I never want to miss out on anything that God has in my plan but remember…If I have 4 girls….do I keep going?  We sit and talk about the challenges of having children and reaching boys vs. girls and it is funny hearing about all the challenges I have not encountered as a parent, but trust me there are enough challenges.  Trust me!

And you know what, when I was leaving the function yesterday I thought about my friend who took my daughter to the window and I could see his son in the grass playing football(one of two sports I played in college) with his baseball uniform on(because they had just left a playoff game…something I have never been able to experience with a son)

Actually, his son was gone because they left an hour before we did, but I could still see him.  Only the name on the back of his shirt said  “Offdachain” and I REALLY LIKED THAT!! See what he doesn’t understand is the only reason I am not at the window holding his son in my arms is because he is my size and he is only six years old. 

So at the end of the day I will take my car full of queens home and not question why or even if I will ever experience anything other than girls.  The funny thing is I changed the last line I just typed from experience anything different, because each one of my girls is different and I really thought about not having a fourth child and when I look at this little girl.  I mean those of you who know this child……

I can not imagine not having her and I think we do a better job each time so I have decided not to put the man made roadblocks up because there are others who would love to have the blessings of little feet in their lives.

I will enjoy the art of PRACTICING (in my Allen Iverson voice)… and take what I am blessed with and continue to honor my family and community on the narrow path I have chosen.  A marriage path of honoring my family and choosing to surround myself with men who want to be accountable to RIGHT actions.

So I will press on and YES! 

I keep going!



About offdachainandouttadabox

We are a married couple of 2 with 4 beautiful, smart children, who after 15 years of marriage have decided to join the blog world with a blog that will allow us to present what may be considered to many to be offdachainandouttadabox as it pertains to the areas of marriage, parenting, finances and health & wellness. The offdachain husband will also, against the wishes of his wife, (hence off the chain) post on other subjects from time to time.

7 responses »

  1. It seems great to me to have all one gender. But it is funny that people assume that you will keep ‘trying’ for whatever you don’t have. I got reacquainted with a friend from high school recently and he and his wife have eight sons! I wonder what people say to them lol.

  2. You know I just LOVE your family–all of you! It’s a matter of contentment, isn’t it? When we can realize that God’s will for our life is RIGHT IN FRONT OF US! We have what we are meant to have–our very breath–HE sustains us and can take ANY of it away in an instant. Praise Him for His everlasting kindness to us!

    • When Dawn told me you responded to my post I was like….OH! What did she say? I am so honored to have my family forever connected to your family. I thank you for bringing this to the forefront of our minds and yes during this week of fasting we are Praising Him for all he has done.

      p.s. Thanks for having an awesome photography company and always doing a great job of bringing out the best in our beautiful girls!! Keep up the good work!

  3. When I think of all the people who would love to have just one child of either gender, I think any of us with healthy children of either gender have plenty to be thankful for. Plus you and I live in nations with low infant mortality rates.

    My husband is from a country where they are not so lucky in that respect, so truly appreciates his children (our children) are all alive and well. We may have to adjust the cultural ranking of 2nd eldest child though (oldest son, not oldest child) *cheeky grin*

  4. LOVE that you call your daughters queens. I always imagined myself with daughters, but was doomed, er, destined to produce sons. I figured that I would teach them to value themselves, to see themselves as sacred and worthy of and deserving of respect and love. Turns out that I can teach the same lessons to my boys, but they are not queens (that’s another kind of son that I am more than willing to take on! West Coast me!) My sons already love, adore and honor women (especially granola crunchy loc wearing chicks, so hide your natural headed babies from Zen!) and I’m confident that they will be fabulous partners and parents. I can’t fathom what my life would be like without my boys. They rock! Folks ask me if I’d like to have a daughter, but if I play my cards right, and inbue them with improved homemaking, moneymaking and parenting skills, the boys will become highly desired marriable MEN and then I’ll get some wonderful daughters-in-laws.

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