Is the husband required to help with housework?

Standard

Yep, I am going to do it.  I am going to tackle one of the issues that no one wants to address.

Well, it gets addressed but not from the male perspective.

At least not publicly.  We talk about it but only when we are watching the game with the boys…And you don’t want to hear that convo.

Now this is not going to be as deep as it could be because I have to get home to help my wife with some housework…Just kidding.

So here goes.  I want to give this disclaimer.  If you are not a Christian or if you are a Christian and not following the bible….most of what is presented on this blog will not make sense to you.

There are many marriages taking hits in this so-called economically challenging time.  I am so saddened to hear of all the couples opting for divorce instead of choosing to serve each other but the serving part is where I think most of us fall off.

So if a wife works full-time outside of the home(building a kingdom for another family) is the husband obligated to help with the housework, cooking and cleaning?

I say absolutely NOT! He is not obligated.  It is his choice.

Now sit down and let me finish…

I say this because I believe the wife should not be working full-time outside of the home(building a kingdom for another family) and this is contributing to the breakdown of marriages.  {notice I said…contributing…it is not the ONLY factor}

I believe the wives in these situations need help because they are working so hard outside the home..(building a kingdom for another family)

I know. I know. I know.  I work with a group of women everyday and I hear how you want your own stuff.  Your own money and all that.

So my response is this.  You bite it off you chew it.

In contrast, if us men(who for the most part have not been taught to be providers) would handle our families finances you would not have to leave the home to help us provide income.

Now I need you to understand that even if we make all the money the family needs we can still sometimes be hard to get along with and cause you to want to work outside the home.(building a kingdom for another family)

This is a HUGE FAIL for us men.  We need to understand that our job is to make it and the families needs come before our needs.

If the number one need of a woman is SECURITY and you are not secure…

THAT IS OUR FAULT!!!

But if all your needs are met and you want to leave home everyday to work outside the home(building the kingdom of another family)

Please know that assistance with your role is totally an option and don’t try to withhold _ _ _ either or I will call MY FATHER!!

Hey,

Don’t shoot the messenger.

ODC

“March Madness Blogging Series”

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21 responses »

  1. Whether I work inside the home or not I plan on doing most of the housework bc I am such a neat freak. I do plan on having a husband willing to help with laundry and load the dishwasher little things like that. I own my own business and am excited to know I can control my hours and not spend 40 hours a week away from my family. But I will spend 21-28 hours at an out of home office! However, I totally respect women who went to school and became doctors, lawyers, teachers, accountants, you name it! So kudos to all the women who work and parent full time! (and yes 40 hours per week working and the other 128 hours at home does equal full time for BOTH). The amazing thing about God is that he gave everyone their own purpose and their own specific calling. He did not call every woman to be a stay at home mom. He called some women to become scientists and help cure diseases, he called some women to nurture the sick, he called some women to create stores, clothing lines, fly airplanes you name it! Our possibilities are endless and when he gave us our gifts and assignments he doesn’t ask or require us to stop once we become mothers. That’s why he made us fearlous and virtuous and wonderful! Because he equipped is to do both! Kudos to those he called to be a stay at home mom! What a special mantle! But I would like to argue that when God gives you a gift and an assignment that is out of the home-by using your God given gift to provide for your family and serve others you are being obedient and obedience builds HIS KINGDOM not just another family. Please know that your labor will bless others. Whether you fold clothes and kiss boo boos all day or provide a great service for others with the labor of your hands and then return home and kiss boo boos, MOTHERS ROCK THE WORLD!

    • I have to admit. I did not read all of your comment. Sorry. I just know He created one to birth the children. I wonder why He did that. Brittany we have had this convo over and over. Let’s talk again in 20 years!!

      ODC

  2. Hahaha, that is hilarious. Your poor wife! In a real relationship, the parents make a choice together about whether the mother, father or both will work outside of the home. They accept that once they’ve made a lifelong commitment to each other, all income is joint income regardless of who earns it. They help with childcare and domestic chores to the extent that they can in light of how much they are working outside of the home. I’m sorry, you are absolutely entitled to your views, but they are incredibly outdated and frankly non-Christian.

  3. Many things in life are a choice. Is a wife obligated to have sex? No, it is her choice! And if she doesn’t feel like it, may I respectifully suggest the husband look at his behaviour towards his wife, including how much he helps around the house to ensure she isn’t too bloody tired to have sex!

    I’ll accept the USA is a different culture, one where I gather women expect to be “kept”. Australia is different. Women who do not work are considered a little strange in most quarters. Yes, we might stay home for a couple of years with babies, but we work. We studied damn hard to become accountants, doctors, lawyers……. we don’t throw it away. We get married because we want to, not because we have to. Australian women expect our husbands to carry their fair share, both financially and domestically.

    Personally, my view is hire a housekeeper. Right now, because we battled the government, we can’t afford it – but in the past I’ve had one and we will again.

    Culturally, Mr O struggles with helping with the housework but logically he knew it was the only fair thing when I was the only one working and I left the house before everyone else and got home last. Now he is working (HURRAY) and so we may find that housekeeper sooner rather than later.

    You know our story, so you know my husband not working was not of his choice.

      • 🙂 I love you too! What I forgot to say, I realise this morning, is this. All of this is a choice for any given couple. No, I am not a christian, but I am married to a muslim, don’t forget.

        The issue is paternalism, something that many religions seem to find ways to justify. I know in your heart you have the best of intentions OCD. I do not doubt that or a moment. You are a wonderful man and you have a terrific family.

        I am busy teaching my children about gender equality. I say to them gender discrimination is no different to discrimination based on ethnicity. It infuriates me no end that their religion teaches women have to stand behind the men to pray, however I also know it is one small step at a time. If black people had to stand behind white people to pray, there would be an outcry.

        To me, I am sorry, it is no different. It is about equality.

        Books like the bible and the qu’ran were written so long ago. Before cars, planes, modern medicine and electricity. Times change. Religions seem to choose what they will adopt and what they won’t adopt of progress.

        I am a humanist, if I am anything, therefore lack of equality doesn’t sit well with me. Individual choice is fine – so long as individuals are FREE to make those choices.

  4. Off the chain..i get exactly what you are talking about. When I wasnt working, I 100% of the time took care of the household that includes the child…did that mean that my fiance just sat on his butt and didnt help with things…no…but I felt if I were home all day then why wouldnt I take on household task 100.. he’s working full time outside of the home..Im working fulltime inside of the home…and it just felt like thats how things are suppose to be..he and my son were happy and I was happy….Im back to work now and its different the same level of balance does not come as easy and we have to really work hard at maintaining it…everybody may not feel this way..but it truly makes a difference….

    • And make sure everyone understands housework and children are different. Fathers should spend time with their children and thank you for your comment. It is as simple as roles and responsibilities. As many of these persons responding are working full time you would think this would not be over their heads???

      ODC

  5. Where in the Bible does it say all women must be stay at home moms? Do you honestly think he only desires for men to have jobs? Why would he give us women talent and gifts only to be confined within the 4 walls of our home?

    • Editor, please tell me where it says in the Bible that ‘married’ women SHOULD work outside of the home. We need to go back to God’s original intention when he created Adam and Eve. We have fallen from God and we are not operating within the context of his original intent. God does give us free will and we should be able to distinguish between what is permissible and what is best. It has been PROVEN that the best caregiver for young children is their mother. If women feel that strongly that God has called them to a career, they need to be honest and accept the fact that maybe they have not been called to be a wife and mother. Everything that we can do well, is not necessarily a ‘gift’ from God. As Christians, God has called us all to go out and make disciples. Do you think it is best to divide your time between shepherding the souls of your own children and those of strangers? There is a season for everything. Either stay single and ‘single minded’ or accept the fact that becoming a wife and mother require total focus for a few years. Oprah had it right; she decided not to get married and have children because she understood what it would require. Just because the ‘culture’ has changed, God’s word has remained consistent on the role of men and women. I suggest that you read Ephesians and ask God to reveal His truths. I also suggest the book “Lies Women Believe” by Nancy Leigh Demoss.

      • To each his own. I am not perfect but I personally try to adhere and follow my spirit. If God ever led me to be a doctor, start a law practice, or take my current business on a larger scale causing me to work more from home I would do it. Period. And only the most naive person in the world would honestly think God never calls women to become something in ADDITION to “mommy” or “wife”. I will do it all and have it all! Joshua 1:3 and John 14:14 or was that just for men?

      • Lol lol lol! This is getting coo coo! Where in the bible does it say “where in the bible”? Ha ha! I just want someone anyone to look me (and their daughters) in the face and say God never intended you to do anything in life besides be a wife and mother. Or say you can go to school and live your dreams but once you become a wife and mother all your other dreams must cease. The thought of that limitation just depressed me for 2 seconds…. Oh well back to working my business! 🙂

      • Oh my bad I was always thought that by being a Christian by having a relationship with God he lived in me and spoke to my spirit. So when I say my spirit it’s MY spirit with HIS direction.

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