Does spanking really work?


My wife and I have struggled with this for our entire marriage and I don’t want to go deep in this post but do want to give my wife credit for a home run  she hit just yesterday with one of our daughters in the area of discipline.

Our 8 y.o. took some scissors and cut a cute little bracelet that was handmade by our 6 y.o. The bracelet was something she really liked and had been wearing for about the last week or so.

The 6 y.o. did a great job practicing self-control, which she struggles with, and just came and spoke to my wife about the incident.

My wife called my 8 y.o. and asked her what happened and then why she did the cutting.  “I don’t know” might have been her answer or maybe I am just saying it because that is normally her answer when she does something wrong.

The result:

My wife asked my 8 y.o. if she currently had any money and she said, “Yes.”  My wife asked her to go and bring what she had.  After bringing it back and presenting her cash to my wife she got that sad look.  I was cracking up on the inside and was so proud of my wife.

And she did it!!

She had my 8 y.o. pay for what she had done by giving my 6 y.o. money for her bracelet. This really meant a lot to her and allows her to purchase  the supplies to make another one.

This is something I probably would have just given a spanking over when we first got married, but we now attempt to choose the best option that reaches the child and speaks their language.

I need you to understand that my 8 y.o. previously received money on her birthday and still had some of the money on her next birthday.  At that age, what child does that?  Only she is that protective of her money and because of that….

This was a home run and she will never forget the consequences of THIS action.

Congrats to mommy for being great and not reacting quickly but going the route of most effective discipline.

And in this instance, it was not to spank because it just would have gone in the database with every other spanking, but now she remembers this specific incident.

Thanks for visiting our site.

We appreciate you all,


“March Madness Blogging Series”


3 responses »

  1. That was a great way to handle that. My husband and I have had several conversations about discipline and many times the old statement of “we got spankings and we turned out fine” comes up, but honestly did we? I mean by the grace of God I didn’t get pregnant in high school or do something else that could have been detrimental but we still did stuff. I preferred a spanking over being lectured or punished because those set in longer. So spanking wasn’t as effective as we may have thought. Our goal is to focus on our relationship with our kids and as you said to do effective forms of discipline that pertain to each child. What works for one may not work for the other. That’s why I love you two and the transparency that you share with the rest of us.

    • Thanks and it’s funny hearing the story behind you and Mr. Because ours sounds similar. We struggle daily but realize what gets managed and focus will get improved. So we continue to press!! Also, we understand accountability and transparency leads to success and healing. So we continue to share.


      • Isn’t that what we are taught as Christians? Focus on the positive aspects. Call those things that be not as though they were? I mean honestly you have to discipline, but also modeling the proper behavior and having conversations with your children about things helps as well. Spankings are a temporary fix, but what are we doing to make sure that these children become productive citizens and workers for the kingdom of God. What are we pouring into them that they will pass on to their children? I mean we tell kids not to hit by spanking them?! o_0 I definitely don’t think that spanking alone is the answer. I yearned for a relationship with my parents where I could share anything with them, but I was seen and not heard a lot.

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