How tanning can get you thrown in jail for stealing an iPhone! (Part 1)

How tanning can get you thrown in jail for stealing an iPhone! (Part 1)


There are several calls you don’t want to receive from your wife and one of them goes like this…

“I lost my iPhone at Six Flags.”  (especially when you know your contract is not up for renewal)  That is why I am calling you from ________’s phone.

GULP! *drops phone…..falls and hits head on floor*

After regaining consciousness…

I immediately jump into the “FIX IT MODE.” (The fix it mode is defined as the place where men always claim to be able to “Fix everything”, you know the place when you ask us a question and we answer only to find out you were just “seeking information” and not really wanting to do what we thought you should do.)

Well this time….I was ready because I knew I would be able to jump into “FIX IT MODE” and my  ‘wife of wisdom’  who I also call THE CORRECTION OFFICER   oh I am sorry THE CORRECTION LIEUTENANT, she did have a recent promotion, would be ready and willing to follow all instructions.

So I immediately tell her to get on the computer once she arrives at our home and track the phone.  I told her I would stop by our cell phone carrier store (no free publicity to those jokers) to get any special instructions and I would be on my way.

So after stopping at the cell phone store and them providing me with a computer in the back to see exactly how the ICLOUD software works, I was amazed.  When I tracked my phone it showed me a green dot for where my cell phone was located and I felt ready to START TRACKING this outstanding APPLE PRODUCT!!

So I arrived at home to find THE CORRECTION LIEUTENANT on the MACBOOK PRO already tracking the thieves!! I say thieves because they had already departed Six Flags over Georgia, where the phone was misplaced initially.  Now this is a theft case.  For you police novices, we are now looking at a THEFT BY TAKING case.

The Lieutenant had tracked the assailants to Highway 75 and points beyond.  So as she was tracking I was standing by logging all addresses in my GPS software.  This would allow me to know all points of travel.

This is going to be long so get ready…I will be sure to include all information.

So my wife and I noticed the first stopping point.  It was a shopping center in McDonough, Georgia at the corner of Hwy 155 and East Lake Highway.  The pictures are so sharp it showed us what side of the shopping center the car was parked.

I logged the location and made as many notes as possible…In my head of course.  I mean…we are good but we don’t do this for a living.

So after watching them sit there for about 15 minutes, I decided to take off for McDonough.  Now this location is about 30 minutes from my home and my wife is not really sure about my decision.  She states, “Maybe we should wait until they get to their final destination.” I responded with some valuable information obtained from the Manager of the cell phone store…….”If the phone is turned off or the battery goes dead the software does not track.” So just like on the show “The first 48 hours” this time is critical.

I take off and get about 15 miles away and my wife tells me she has lost the ability to track the phone in the system.

I am dejected and turn the truck around in the middle of the road(who remembers Starsky and Hutch?)

My voice of wisdom says, “I am not sure I want you to not still keep moving that way.” “I may pop back up and I can just call you on the CB radio and tell you their 20.”

Ok that is not actually what she said, but you get the idea.

So I did another…you guessed it (Starksy and Hutch) in the middle of the road…Now mind you I am driving a suburban extended cab truck and the people in traffic are looking at me like I am ODC.

So then my wife tells me to just pull over and sit and she will call me in 5 minutes with instructions….I pulled over for 2 seconds and got back on the road headed towards our IPHONE.  I am glad I did because I called my wife 20 minutes later when I was near the first address and asked her why she never called me back and she said it went straight to voicemail.  Bad signal was the culprit and by this information you should know who my carrier is but ANYWHO!

She then told me the car had moved, but the addresses had stalled out again.  I asked her for the last address on file and she complied.

I pulled over and sent a text to the phone.  This would be my 3rd or 4th text to the phone.  The previous text messages expressed the award that would be received for the safe return of the phone.  This text message stated that I realize the phone has been taking from the property of Six Flags and I am still willing to pay a reward up until 7pm but after that time I would be arriving at your home with the police.  The phone has a tracking device!!  I also sent a 2nd text with the address of one of the stops.  Soon after sending this text the phone was turned off.  This is where I am thinking…

Sending that text was NOT such a great idea…JR!  Why are you telling them all your information?

Well, I continued on and then I arrived at the intersection of Hwy 155 & East Lake Highway and think to myself…

SELF…You just passed the first stop.  Maybe you can go there and find out where they went and ask if anyone had friends that went to Six Flags today that stopped by.

Another Starksy and Hutch move…this time I almost needed to call the police for another reason.

I arrived at the shopping center and rode around to the back of the shopping center.  There are two cars.  A Blue Honda Civic and a white BMW.  I walk past each car looking for Six Flag drink cups…No luck.

Next I case out the shopping center.  I am looking for somewhere to eat.  Maybe a pizza place or a sit down family spot that a family would visit after leaving Six Flags and being in the sun all day and not wanting to cook when arriving home.  My wife and I call this…BATH AND BED TIME.

NO FOOD SPOT…There was a SUBWAY but that was across the parking lot and not close enough to where ICLOUD showed me they had parked.  So at this point I am thinking I need to do as much detective work as possible.  I get my Lieutenant on the phone and we confer.  She tells me to go into the Verizon store across the parking lot and do an inquiry.  I comply and ask the staff of a WM & WF if they had any visits from someone looking like they had been to Six Flags today or anyone in the last hour seeking an iPhone charger or other accessories. They seemed very helpful but had not run into either case.  I moved on.

I started on the corner from the area the car had initially parked.  I walked to the first store on the corner which was a frozen yogurt place that was still building out…I guess they did not know it was summer and would be winter by the time they finished building out, but at any rate….Not the spot.

The 2nd store was a baby clothes boutique that had a sign on the door.  The sign read: “Sorry for any inconvenience but we had to close at 4pm today.” And since this all started when they left the park and got on 75 after 4pm…Not the spot.

The 3rd location was Tim’s Hair Salon.  It was a very nicely put together salon.  I walked up to the door and stopped and just watched the clients for about 30 seconds.  Then it happened.  I saw a young WF walk by with a mini-skirt, tank top and bikini underneath.  She looked very fresh tanned to me…but I am AA so others would say burned.  I also noticed her hair was not done and seemed to be curly from being wet and then dried in the sun.

I immediately pushed the door and began introducing myself to the clients so I could get information form them before the owner could stop me and put me off the property!!

Uhhhh NO!

I went back to my truck, which was parked between the hair salon and the two parked cars and sat down to gather my thoughts.

And you would not believe who walked out the salon.  All by herself!

I calmly walked out the car like I was going to the closed baby boutique and said, “Hello, Did you got to Six Flags today?”

To which she replied, “Yes, how did you know that?”

I then asked, “Did you find a black and pink Hello Kitty bag?” and before thinking she put her hands up in the air (like I was the police) and responded, “Yeah but I don’t have that because we turned it in before leaving the park.”



12 responses »

  1. And you are going to just leave us hanging like that……not right! *arms folded, tapping foot while waiting for part II*

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