Category Archives: Choosing wife over mother

4 Questions to a Perfect Marriage!!


Symbol man woman question exclamation mark ask answer


1. What are 3 things your spouse would love to do as a married couple?  Have you made efforts to see that those things happen without them having to ask?

2. What are 3 things your spouse would love to do by themselves or with their friends? Have you made an effort to schedule/surprise them by scheduling those times?

3. Have you sent your spouse a thank you card or shown (not told) gratitude towards them for what they bring to the marriage/relationship? (And this needs to be done without expecting anything to be said to you in return about how freaking great you are)

4. Is your marriage intimate enough for the both of you and if not, would scheduling intimacy time rectify this challenge? (Remember: Better Scheduled than Not to happen at all)

As we all know, marriage takes work!  Remember the rough times come when we stop focusing on what we can do to better the marriage and begin focusing on the areas our spouse may be lacking.


And begin to prop your spouse up and show them gratitude and begin or continue to pass the test on the way to a Perfect Marriage.

I Love You for Stopping!



Dear Wife, Just in case you thought I forgot…



With Mother’s Day just passing the thought came over me, I wonder if OTB really knows how much she means to me as a wife. I am sure if just based off my actions…she doesn’t. So I have decided to recommit myself to showing her. The smartphone is a wonderful tool and it has the ability to schedule recurring reminders that tell me to send my wife a creative note that will make her smile or just feel appreciated.

Maybe one day I will send one at JUST THE RIGHT TIME…

To save one of my daughters from get THAT LOOK! Or turn her day around…Just When She Needs It!

Great…That is what I will do. I will make the effort to find creative ways to express to my wife 3-5 times a day how much she means to me and our family. That there is no way possible this ship would float without her steering it away from the rocks when I am not paying attention.

As a husband I really need my wife and I believe that she needs to hear how sometimes her greatness is taken for granted…

It only happens because you have been great for so long. We only met the summer before high school…I’m Sayin!

So this is a small note to say that just in case you thought I forgot….

I didn’t.

I didn’t forget all those times when you held me up via a long distance phone call…(without touching me)

I didn’t forget how all those times I was having a rough day all I needed to do was hear your voice.

I didn’t forget how you supported me when no one else did…not even my family.

Because you knew and you trusted Him to keep His word.

And He did and you did and your obedience will be forever rewarded.

So thanks and I love you! And I will continue to tell you all day, every day.

Just in case you thought I forgot.


Temptation The Movie: “Let’s Get the Party Started!”


Interior of a Movie Theater

So FINALLY, there is a chance to get to a Tyler Perry movie in the the most important first week and I could not wait. Making sure to get out of the office on time. Leaving at 5:01 for a 6:30pm showing and sure enough, needing every minute to get through that Washington, DC traffic…UGH…2013 opening day baseball. Surely, selecting the theatre that is directly past the Nationals traffic would be the thing to do. But since they were picked by Sports Illustrated and ESPN to win the World Series this year, I guess getting used to them blocking up traffic. I think I saw Brett Brocki yelling from the top of a limo at the Channel 8 New Crew too! (Some things are never surprising) Maybe they will get to block it in an organized way….You know…with a PARADE!!! I went from day one to the parade.

Sorry, that is how my mind works sometimes.

Well, anywho. Arriving just in time to pay for my ticket electronically and walk past everyone waiting in line and have my ticket taken by the guy who was workng the cash booth was a sweet deal. I know I am not the avid movie goer but why do people not use the machine to purchase their tickets? Someone please comment and let me know what is better about waiting in line.

So being able to shoot around one line was definetly a highlight for Mr. Impatient…only to wish there was a way to make my own popcorn and drink. Especially since my popcorn rivals any movie theatre when home with the G-Unit. Normally doing a huge bucket of popcorn and a soft drink doesn’t appeal to my but not being a frequent visitor leads me to believe I have to enjoy the entire blockbuster experience. The only challenge is that the line at the concession stand is super long and though there are 19 screens only two lanes are open. I guess they thought everyone would not be coming until later. Maybe they were aware of the traffic and scheduled everyone to come in for the 7:30 viewing of Temptation, by the marketing genius, Tyler Perry.

Well, eventually my popcorn and drink were aquired and was even able to actually have the manager hold it for me while I visited the restroom. Didn’t want any need to leave this show and miss a very important scene and be lost the rest of the film.

So I am in and the film starts and there she is KIM KARDASHIAN!!! And if you want to know how she did in her debut with Tyler Perry, she was a great actress. The only challenge is she was not really acting. She was playing herself. A fashion hungry, nametag pushing girlfriend who like dresses so TIGHT you are not able to breathe and cringes at the sight of a woman in flats. Seems normal enough for her to pull off.

Then there is the eye candy for the women. Yes, going directly to the gym trying to compete with Lance, who in the first hour shows his chest and abs 4 times and I am not sure of the other guys name(some reviewer I am huh) but he has a nice chest as well and was showing it on his runs through the park.

Then there was Vanessa Williams, with a bad French accent, who owns a millionare matchmaking service. Brandy, who works in a pharmacy(took everything for me not to type drug store) and the star young lady who I don’t know her name either(there I go again) who is married to Lance and is as dry as they come.

Now for the layout of the land for this magnificent plot. A one bedroom studio apartment and the matchmaking office.

There you have the first hour of the film Temptation! The slowest, dryest first hour of a blockbuster movie ever.

Someone needs to tell Tyler Perry to put the energy that he puts into marketing a movie into actually making it worth pushing. You do not have an hour to get my attention. I walked out and got my money back. And that was my excitement for the night, because the manager said I was 4 minutes past her cutoff. (another post on that, but you all know I got my money)

Don’t worry. I will go see it with my wife so I can give you a full review, but I just had to show you by starting slow in my post that you have to GET THE PARTY STARTED MR PERRY!! People don’t like things dragging out and that is what Temptation does.

DRAG. I rate the first hour a 0 on a scale of 1-10. Oh, my bad, it did motivate me to put down my popcorn and drink and hit the gym and for that it gets a 2.

More where this came from…


In my opinion, he needs to stick to stage plays. That way when there are errors in production we can’t rewind the videos and catch it.

“Launching first book in 2013!”


Attractive Woman with Her Books











In case you were wondering….

I have not been silenced by the Powers that Be, but I have actually been preparing for a HUGE 2013!  A year that will start with the launch of my first book.  I have met with my writing coach, who you can follow on Twitter at @karenbowlding, and she has given me the green light to as she put it…”Get off my BuTT.”

I kinda hang with people who will keep it real for me.  It’s the only way you are going to get my attention.  So she has gotten it and the writing is coming right along.  I will begin to have time for blogging again so you guys will be seeing post from both my wife and I.  (I did not get that last sentence approved before typing it, but I hope she gets the HINT)

So as it is scheduled currently the release date will be March 2013 and trust me…..IT WILL BE ON!

Thanks for your support,




Keys to being a Good Husband: Key #3: Realize differences between WIFE & mother.










This seems to be a huge challenge for some, as the age many men are waiting to get married continues to increase.  In my opinion, this is an issue that can be  sometimes brought on by the actions of the mother.  If she does not want to allow her son to be a man and the leader of his new family, but wants him to still be her little, “Johnny.” There should always be a level of respect for your mother but we all must realize that our wives were raised by different parents and under different circumstances and those factors are always going to yield much different results.  Not BAD just different.  So I suggest that you and your wife learn to sit and have dialogue over some of these differences when you come across a few and discuss how you each see these.

Please do not say, “Why don’t I have my mom come stay with us for a while to show you how to (insert said task)?”

I have learned that sometimes I have to present WHAT NOT TO DO…when talking to us men.

In order to be successful, us husbands have to realize there were at least 3, 475 reasons you married the woman of YOUR CHOICE and my advice would be to get over this hurdle early in your marriage so your wife is totally secure in her position and your mother is as well.  Once this is done it will be smooth sailing.  I promise.

Thanks for stopping,