So FINALLY, there is a chance to get to a Tyler Perry movie in the the most important first week and I could not wait. Making sure to get out of the office on time. Leaving at 5:01 for a 6:30pm showing and sure enough, needing every minute to get through that Washington, DC traffic…UGH…2013 opening day baseball. Surely, selecting the theatre that is directly past the Nationals traffic would be the thing to do. But since they were picked by Sports Illustrated and ESPN to win the World Series this year, I guess getting used to them blocking up traffic. I think I saw Brett Brocki yelling from the top of a limo at the Channel 8 New Crew too! (Some things are never surprising) Maybe they will get to block it in an organized way….You know…with a PARADE!!! I went from day one to the parade.
Sorry, that is how my mind works sometimes.
Well, anywho. Arriving just in time to pay for my ticket electronically and walk past everyone waiting in line and have my ticket taken by the guy who was workng the cash booth was a sweet deal. I know I am not the avid movie goer but why do people not use the machine to purchase their tickets? Someone please comment and let me know what is better about waiting in line.
So being able to shoot around one line was definetly a highlight for Mr. Impatient…only to wish there was a way to make my own popcorn and drink. Especially since my popcorn rivals any movie theatre when home with the G-Unit. Normally doing a huge bucket of popcorn and a soft drink doesn’t appeal to my but not being a frequent visitor leads me to believe I have to enjoy the entire blockbuster experience. The only challenge is that the line at the concession stand is super long and though there are 19 screens only two lanes are open. I guess they thought everyone would not be coming until later. Maybe they were aware of the traffic and scheduled everyone to come in for the 7:30 viewing of Temptation, by the marketing genius, Tyler Perry.
Well, eventually my popcorn and drink were aquired and was even able to actually have the manager hold it for me while I visited the restroom. Didn’t want any need to leave this show and miss a very important scene and be lost the rest of the film.
So I am in and the film starts and there she is KIM KARDASHIAN!!! And if you want to know how she did in her debut with Tyler Perry, she was a great actress. The only challenge is she was not really acting. She was playing herself. A fashion hungry, nametag pushing girlfriend who like dresses so TIGHT you are not able to breathe and cringes at the sight of a woman in flats. Seems normal enough for her to pull off.
Then there is the eye candy for the women. Yes, going directly to the gym trying to compete with Lance, who in the first hour shows his chest and abs 4 times and I am not sure of the other guys name(some reviewer I am huh) but he has a nice chest as well and was showing it on his runs through the park.
Then there was Vanessa Williams, with a bad French accent, who owns a millionare matchmaking service. Brandy, who works in a pharmacy(took everything for me not to type drug store) and the star young lady who I don’t know her name either(there I go again) who is married to Lance and is as dry as they come.
Now for the layout of the land for this magnificent plot. A one bedroom studio apartment and the matchmaking office.
There you have the first hour of the film Temptation! The slowest, dryest first hour of a blockbuster movie ever.
Someone needs to tell Tyler Perry to put the energy that he puts into marketing a movie into actually making it worth pushing. You do not have an hour to get my attention. I walked out and got my money back. And that was my excitement for the night, because the manager said I was 4 minutes past her cutoff. (another post on that, but you all know I got my money)
Don’t worry. I will go see it with my wife so I can give you a full review, but I just had to show you by starting slow in my post that you have to GET THE PARTY STARTED MR PERRY!! People don’t like things dragging out and that is what Temptation does.
DRAG. I rate the first hour a 0 on a scale of 1-10. Oh, my bad, it did motivate me to put down my popcorn and drink and hit the gym and for that it gets a 2.
More where this came from…
In my opinion, he needs to stick to stage plays. That way when there are errors in production we can’t rewind the videos and catch it.