Category Archives: Fitness

Fortyhood: Biopsies and Babies?!?!


images“Triple Knee”….”Over the top”….”Reverse Turn”. On this particular Saturday morning, I was finding it difficult to keep up mentally AND physically in my favorite class, one that I have been taking for over 16 years. This usually only happens under one condition. No, surely that’s not what it is. I had a wacky cycle last month; 2 in one month, 11 days apart. Surely I was headed towards the big M. That’s what I had decided was the reason for my late cycle.

“If you just listen to the beat”, someone in the class, seeing my confusion, offered, in an attempt to help me. In my bewilderment, I tell a complete stranger, “I think I’m pregnant!” I’m sure it caught her off guard, lol! She tells me maybe it’s just my period about to start, and I struggle through the rest of class.


I originally started this blog post on 5/26 and today is 9/28. I honestly don’t even have the mental space to make this post the literary masterpiece I wanted it to be, lol! Yes, I was indeed pregnant and 2 days after confirming the pregnancy, my mammogram came back abnormal. Talk about stressed and anxious?!?!? I had a biopsy and thankfully the mass was benign, and unfortunately, the pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, my 3rd in a row.

Sharing such personal stories, open you up for so much judgement; “How old is she?”, “Don’t they know what causes that?”, “Don’t they already have FOUR children?!?!?”, but I have decided in spite of what others think, (and yes, I’m totally aware and informed of the ‘risks’ that come with ‘advanced maternal age’) we travel the road less traveled, thus ‘Offdachain and Outtadabox’.

When faced with breast cancer and a baby, you start to realize that some things are totally out of your control. I have decided that there are far worse things than being judged for my lack of birth control, like death!

I was inspired to complete this post after being invited to a couple’s party last night who had never met us,but read the blog. We had a wonderful time, rapping all the old school hip-hop songs, lol! They kept commenting on how much they enjoyed the blog. It has been forever since we posted, and as you will soon see, so much has been going in our lives. I’m never ashamed or embarrassed to share our lows, because I know it’s not our final destination.

I hope that my transparency will help someone to stop allowing the culture to dictate your choices and maybe stop someone from judging someone else’s (I’m a work in progress on this one).

More to come.




“Launching first book in 2013!”


Attractive Woman with Her Books











In case you were wondering….

I have not been silenced by the Powers that Be, but I have actually been preparing for a HUGE 2013!  A year that will start with the launch of my first book.  I have met with my writing coach, who you can follow on Twitter at @karenbowlding, and she has given me the green light to as she put it…”Get off my BuTT.”

I kinda hang with people who will keep it real for me.  It’s the only way you are going to get my attention.  So she has gotten it and the writing is coming right along.  I will begin to have time for blogging again so you guys will be seeing post from both my wife and I.  (I did not get that last sentence approved before typing it, but I hope she gets the HINT)

So as it is scheduled currently the release date will be March 2013 and trust me…..IT WILL BE ON!

Thanks for your support,




“Bragging on my Boo” THE LAUNCH




My Stay-at-home wife, that never stays home… I am still seeking to coin a name for this type of woman that I have…has inspired me to create a series on our blog titled, “Bragging on my Boo.” This series will give me an opportunity to give the words of affirmation(See for more understanding) that she has been deserving for sometime.  And the need for a series is evident.  She is constantly finding her next, THING…most of the time while still fighting to win her last BIG CHALLENGE!

I am not really sure my wife understands how excited I am to be married to such a wonderful, WONDER WOMAN. (That is what a nurse that watched her give birth with NO MEDICATION called her, which is amazing considering this nurse had been watching the birthing process for over 15 years).

Today she is going to depart for Charlotte, North Carolina…well really, it is actually Huntersville, but who is keeping track of that.  You already know I am a big Charlotte fan and have renamed it the capital of the state.  (Just waiting on legislation to pass it now)

She is headed to tackle her NEXT BIG THING!  A sprint Triathlon that starts with a 250 yard swim, moves to the 9 mile bike ride (on my 11 year old’s bike) and finishes with a 2 mile run.

The amazing part to this event’s story is not even that we can not currently bite off the price of a new road bike, with the super skinny tires, and she is having to use my daughter’s childrens/mountain bike, with the super NON-SKINNY tires, from Toys R Us, but the fact that she is over 40 (Twitter handle: @fit40four ) and when doing a Triathlon started coming out of her mouth…………………..


Of course now this makes me laugh and brings to mind the chapter titled, “Can you swim?” in the book How to be Black by (Twitter handle: @baratunde )

My wonderful wife, who like many in the AA community, attended pool parties in college, but did not get in the pool (unless you were thrown in by the football players). I don’t even think she wore a swimsuit to those parties.

She took her first swimming lesson only 6 years ago at the age of 36.  Did I just tell my wife’s age on an internet forum that will last forever and always tell her age?  Well, she has the password and can edit this part if she wishes.

I don’t believe in this class she learned too much but I give her credit for becoming part of the ELITE AA community.  Now once she decided to step up her game and do this triathlon thingy, she had to get on the internet and find the best of the best in swimming.  I am hearing splashing in the bed and wondering “What now?”.  She is up all night watching videos on Total Immersion. Now she is going from not knowing how to swim to learning how to swim like a fish.  She even had a Total Immersion swim coach come to our community pool and give her a private lesson, while I videotaped on her iPhone.  Yes the one that we recovered in the other blog post.  Yeah Baby!!!


So now all I hear all night is bodies slicing through water and she has me watching the videos and learning how to swim using this technique and considering a triathlon.  Well, first we are doing the ING Miami Marathon 2013 in Jan.  I tell you what.  If you are single and want to know how to select a wife that has discipline and will be a wonderful wife and mother, you may want to check out her work ethic.  I did not say you have to get her a job to do this.

But if she gets up at 4:30am 6 days a week for years and is always willing to challenge herself and needs no one else to motivate her and is a leader and moves from a 5k to a 10k to a half-marathon to a sprint-TRI to a marathon to…….

Geesh! I just heard her on the phone talking IRON GIRL.

Thank God I wont have to do that one….

I need a break.

Thanks for stopping,


Your successful new life may need scheduling!


My wife had me grab a dry erase board and told me to prepare to use the board to answer some questions.  Of course it is after a long day and I have very little patience but play along because I think it’s going to lead to something physical, that I will enjoy.

She asked me to make a list of the things that are important to me:






I left them blank so you can fill in your answers. I don’t want to distract you by having you look at my stuff.  After writing this she asked me to find a Bible scripture that I could use as a foundational scripture for each.  This was to help me see just how much of what was important to me was also important to God!

She then had me draw a line down the middle board and on the left side begin to write the days of the week.








But you knew that…huh?

She then had me make my entire weekly schedule and we discussed when each of the items that I had deemed important would get time and I was amazed at how this turned out.  My schedule was so packed that if some of the items I deemed important were going to get touched some major changes would need to be made.

I discovered that there are several things in my life that I would like to improve and if those areas are going to improve I am going to have to invest the time, energy and efforts.  This involves getting out the bed at 4:30am-5:00am when my wife goes to the gym.  (something that is important to her and she has done this for the 12 years we have been married)

She told me, “Most people are not willing to invest in themselves or grind for what they want.”  Then she asked me, “Are you?”

This woman is mind-blowing!!! 


Note to Singles: “Iron sharpens Iron.” Even in a marriage

Running for my life…



I continue to get the question, “Why do you want to run a marathon?”

I mean…WHO DOES THAT? Is the comment that most say when they hear I am going after the feat.

My answer is… people who want to be healthy and people who have their own reasons for wanting to join a spiritual movement.  A marathon is such a spiritual happening.

I have several reasons for tackling 26.2 miles all in one day.

1. I have been an above average achiever for my entire life.  This above average performing has allowed me to be a non-finisher for most of my life and fly under the radar.  Most people do not realize this about me but I KNOW I have not lived up to my full potential and I need to start being a finisher.  Completing this task is the rites of passage for my becoming a finisher.

2. My wife has been running half-marathons for a two year period and I would even run her long runs with her on some of her trainings but I would never compete on race day.(typical)  A marathon is my way of being the leader in my home.  Having 4 daughters means I need to be the leader and they need to see me lead so they know WHAT RIGHT LOOKS LIKE.

3. My family has a history of heart disease and I have two parents that are needing pacemakers and I refuse to believe that something that is right before me will JUST HAPPEN to make a swerve around me and miss.  I just don’t think I am THAT special.

4. I also would like to continue to rehabilitate my achilles that was surgically repaired in July 2011.

5. At age 43, I would like to transition into doing Triathlons and add the swimming and biking to my training.

6. To say I have done something that puts me into such a Small Percentage of Society

7. To spend some time and spiritually connect with my 4 daughters by playing their song “Rise” as my run day Theme Song.

Thanks to all those that have supported me during my training.  I also would like to thank the Ironman training crew who I would run into most Saturdays/Sundays.  The crew that has members that are 10 years older than I am and gave me no excuse to ever stop.

Wish me luck…